When It's Over

Today my Grandpa Mangialardi passed away. I loved as much as my own father because that is how he treated us, like we were ALL his kids. He always put us first and made sure we were taken care of. I am in the "now what" state of mind. When it is over what do you do? I love you Grandpa and I am sure you are in heaven, kicking a soccer ball around. After all, that is what you came to America do to and man am I glad you did!

With Age

I have found the older I am the more I have become opinionated about things. Growing up I was always so sweet and go with the flow, and now if I have a problem with something, you will know! I don't think I am mean, I just want to make sure people know here I stand. I am still the peacemaker and will always apologize if I am wrong, but now that I have a husband and son, I will fight to death to protect my family. I think age, well experience, will do that to people. You live, make mistakes and learn from them. On the way you can help others who have gone through the same thing. In spite of my still-evolving personality, I just hope I am not one of the old people in the nursing home no one wants to be around lol.

Just Breath

Wyatt is such a challenge some days. There are times where he pushes me to my limit and right when I think he couldn't get any worse... he does!!! Those are the times I tell myself "just breath". I have taken care of other people's kids for the majority of my working life and for some strange reason I thought that I would have a perfect obedient child because I would discipline him the "right" way. Well now I understand that some kids just aren't as easy to handle, no matter what sort of discipline they receive. I spank, give him time-outs and yet no more than a minute goes by and he is back doing the same thing that got him in trouble before. Being consistent is the hardest part of being a parent. If I give Wyatt one inch, he will take a mile. What is so perplexing is when Wyatt is making me laugh and just being my precious little boy, I forget how bad he was earlier. I soak in the good times and thank God for the crazy son he has given us.

There's a Place for Us

During this time of year I am reminded of my mom. Her birthday was October 23rd. However, Novemeber 11th 1989 she died at the age of 29. She lost her battle with breast cancer and left behind a husband and four children under the age of 10. I have few memories of my mom but what I lack in memories I make up for with love. It's strange that I can love someone I barely knew and yet I feel as if during those 2 years she was alive she gave me enough love to last a lifetime. Today, my mom is with the Lord and even though I know I will see her when I get to heaven, she wont remember all the time we spent apart or tell me if I made her proud. There are no tears in heaven, no sadness, sickness or time to remember the past. Instead of spending my childhood with my mother, I get to spend eternity with her. Shayna and I have now have matching tattoos in honor of our mom. We love her, we miss her and most of all we pray for a cure for Breast Cancer!!

All grown Up

I came to the realization that instead of complaining that I never do anything or hang out with friends, I have become proactive and have made plans for myself. Some involve Wyatt and some don't. I have my calendar marked with days I am doing things with friends and as embarrassing as this is, it brings a smile to my face. There is nothing like being able to relate with others who are experiencing the same milestones in life, marriage and parenthood. We share advice, gross stories and laughs of life before our children and it is strange to think we are "grown-ups" now. I don't have a lot of friends but I have a few good ones that I know I will have for a lifetime...for that I am thankful. While I was off being a busy mom I neglected the fact that just because my life revolves around my son and husband, doesn't mean I still don't deserve a little social time.

Ready for Fall!

Literally it is 66 degrees in my house. For some reason our heat isn't working. I had my Pj's on and on top of that my bathrobe! It certainly didn't feel like August..but I think I am ready for Fall. It is by far my favorite season. I love wearing sweaters and the smell of the crisp air. I am determined to go on a haunted hayride, that is all I can handle because I am a big chicken. I want to go apple picking and to a pumpkin patch. I want to make big piles of leaves and watch Wyatt jump in them. I want to sip hot chocolate with Noah and watch episodes of Seinfeld......ah...yes, I am ready for fall!

The Mustard Seed

A few years back while I was still working retail, I befriended this single Christian mom. She was the sweetest thing and for Christmas she bought me a necklace with a heart pendant, and inside the clear heart was a mustard seed. It was a nice gesture, the necklace wasn't my "style" so I hung it up on my rear view mirror as a constant reminder of God's faithfulness. At that point in my life I needed little faith because things seemed to be going my way. But occasionally I would glance at that mustard seed and think about how much God could do. Now as I await the next date for Wyatt's surgery I am turning to the mustard seed for answers. I know God's power is endless, but could he "heal" my son so he wouldn't need another surgery? I was kind of embarrassed to even mention the thought to anyone, but why should I be? God has brought people back from the dead, made the blind see and the deaf hear. So is it so far-fetched that Wyatt's "problem" could be fixed supernaturally? When are things too big for God? When it involves moving skin or mending broken bones??? God heals in many ways, sometimes he does it himself, or he can use Doctors and medicine. So my question is, can faith as small as a mustard seed move mountains??

The New Generation

Today my oldest brother is 30! It is strange to think that he has been on earth for this long. I am am so proud of Joey and I think he has made the biggest turn around. Going from an irresponsible teenager, to a husband and father. Sure he is still the same brother who laughs when he farts or will disguise his voice every time he calls me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He calls me at least 2 or 3 times a week just to see how we are doing and is always telling me to give Wyatt a kiss from his uncle Joey. Out of four kids you would think we would be a lot alike but we are so very different. Joey is strong, but emotional, Joshy is smart and sarcastic, I am nurturing and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, Shayshay is guarded and a total DIVA. When you get all of us together it is a fun time, we use laughter as a common thread, even though I tend to be at the butt of many jokes, what can I say, I am an easy target!?! I love my siblings and we are really close, we had to be. Throughout all the garbage we have been through, it only bounded us together more. At the end of the day, I always know they will be there for me. Happy Birthday Big Bro!!! Love you!

I can't think of anything more rewarding that being a mother

Half empty of half full?

2009 is half over but already it has been a great year. It is only July and I have done things I have never done until this year. I went to Disney world, I went to not one but TWO concerts, I have been to the Dells twice, I won tickets to see HSM from a radio station and we bought our first home. Next week I will be having a family reunion with my siblings in Michigan then later this year I will be going to Tennessee to see the smokey mountains and Dollywood! When is the fun going to stop?!? I unfortunately consider myself a "Debbie downer", so in my sick mind I am just waiting for something bad to happen. But so far our needs have been met well beyond our expectations. 2009 has been a great year, so instead of thinking it is half over, I still have 6 more months of blessings, adventures and fun!

I'm Back!

Well it sure has been a lonely few weeks not being able to keep in touch with my internet buddies. It really made me rethink how I spent my time. Being online was such a huge chunk of my life. Facebook and email are the two main ways I keep in touch with friends and family and with out those two I made actual phone calls and spent more time with my husband. Even though I am "back" I don't think I will be spending as much time online as I have been. Needless if feels GREAT to be back into the loop!

Riddle Time!!!

A Biblical Thought:

I killed one fourth of mankind. Who am I?

NO CHEATING (like using Google)

Tell me if you think you know who...you must reply to see the answer

Forecast: Showers

It is raining pretty hard here in the sticks, I really HATE the rain but I thought that I could change these showers of rain into showers of blessing so here are a few things God has blessed me with:

A loving spiritual leader husband
An adorable but mischievous son
A new house we will move into in 10 DAYS!!
A surprise credit to our bank account...I love when that happens...Thank you God!
An amazing family
Finally the chance to go to my very first concert!

Ok, I still hate the rain!

It is possible?

I am always thanking God for everything he does for me and my family, however, I remembered one day last year in my small group that a discussion started on people thanking God for simple things like, a good parking spot, or a sale on something they REALLY wanted. This leads me to the burning question....can you ever thank God TOO much? Is that even possible, and if not then who/what is responsible for the good parking spot? Something to think about, can't wait to hear some responses!

I hate making decisions

I have a lot of changes going on in my life and just to add to the craziness I really want to host a foreign exchange student for the upcoming school year. When I first heard of the idea, my eyes lit up and I wanted to jump at the opportunity. After considering all the costs and getting feedback from others, I am not receiving the reactions I was hoping for. It is really hard for me to make a decision when others aren't as gung ho as I am about it. Do I take every one's opinion and like always and give in? Or do I say "hey, this is something I want to do" and go for it? This is how I am ALL the time. I can't make decisions for the fear of what other people will say/do. Put yourself in my shoes...what would you do?

The Claddagh

We all heard of my little fiasco with my wedding rings...if you don't know this story I will just fill you in quickly. I put on my wedding rings too soon and I couldn't get them off. I tried EVERYTHING, my last hope was the Marengo Fire Department. They had to cut off my rings and I still haven't gotten them fixed. Needless to say, we went on a mini vacation to the Dells this past weekend, while we were there we stopped at one of our usual stores, The Indian Trading Post. I fell in love with a ring I have always wanted, an Irish Claddagh ring. I made puppy dog eyes at Noah, and the next thing you know we were walking out of the store and I my ring finger finally looked complete. The key to the Claddagh is which way the heart is facing. Wear the ring with the heart facing out, means your heart is open, where the ring facing in (towards your heart) means your heart is taken. This is the second best thing to my actual wedding ring.

Spring is here!...I hope

It may not look like it outside but I feel the spring slowly taking over. Spring is not my favorite season but I do love what it means to me. Rebirth, starting over and second chances. We planted some Tulips last fall and they have started to poke through the ground and my favorite part is I can almost not wear my winter coat everywhere I go! I have a lot of things going on with buying a house and looking for a new job but I feel like what better time for new things than the Spring? I am even hoping that Wyatt will finally walk!!! (I don't know what his deal is) So spring stick around this time and shut down the winter season...PLEASE!

What's in a name?

“A good name is more desirable than great riches.” Proverbs 22:1
When we chose to name our son "Wyatt" it was because the meaning was so powerful. Wyatt means, little warrior, brave/strong. Who knew that nine months later (his first surgery) Wyatt would have to take his name literally. We are still uncertain as far as what lies ahead for our son, but we do know that he is in God's hands and with that in mind our little warrior was made strong for a good reason! I couldn't imagine naming Wyatt anything else that would have fit him so well.

Cancer Sucks

When I was cleaning at grandma's house this weekend I was not prepared to see grandpa. In my mind he looks a certain way but when I saw him on Saturday I just wanted to burst into tears. I am not sure if it's because he looked so different or because it finally dawned on me that he is sick. He was walking around with his walker and acting totally normal by making jokes about what a nice country we live in. It was just his appearance that threw me off. As the day progressed I got used to seeing the "new" grandpa but I still can't help being angry about cancer! The sooner we find a cure the better and until then all I can do his have faith in God and in the doctors who are trying to make grandpa better.

House Hunters

Noah and I love the show on HGTV House Hunters. Surprisingly enough, we are now the house hunters!!! This does not mean we will buy one, rather we are looking to see what is out there and what we can afford. I must admit I thought I would walk into a house and it would be like my wedding dress, a PERFECT fit. But it is not like that at all. There are things we love about each house and I wish we could shove them all in one. Needless to say we do have a couple houses that will remain on our "list" while we continue our search. This is big news for us and I can't to say that I am a home owner!!!

The Little Man

Wyatt has been 1 for a day and I already know his getting older isn't going to be easy for me. He does so much now that I am happy yet sad at the same time. I want him to grow and get older but that also means I wont have my "baby" for much longer. Wyatt learned a couple things these past weeks/on vacation and we learned some things about him as well. He can hold his own bottle, drink out of a straw and give kisses as well as blow them. This week we are going to start weening his off the bottle. I figured the sooner we do it the better. We found out that he is allergic to dog saliva which is a total bummer because I really wanted to get a dog! My Dr. said that he can out grow it so I will be praying for that. Wyatt will be going this Wednesday for phase 2 of his surgery. At church this morning we were anointed with oil and prayed over and I had a complete feeling of relief. God will take care of Wyatt I am sure of it! I will post another blog post surgery!

Oh Snap!

Thanks to our tax return Noah and I were able to afford gym memberships to the place two blocks from our apartment. Snapfitness fit out budget as well as our schedules. They don't have child care, but they are open 24/7 so that way we can switch off watching Wyatt. Today I worked out for the first time since I became pregnant and I can honestly say it kicked my butt! I know I am going to feel it tomorrow but I have to keep telling myself it will get easier the more I go. I am really tired of feeling tired all the time and I think working out will not only make me healthier but it can give me that boost of energy I am lacking. After all with Wyatt about to walk I am going to need all the energy I can get!

Done and Done

Noah and I went to get our taxes done last night. I always feel relieved to know that tax season is over in our house. Plus there is the anticipation of how much you will get back which couldn't have come at a better time. On this tax filing I had to include my child care job as well. Who knew there was so much involved! There are write offs insurance questions and by the time we left my head was spinning. However, it made me think twice about the work I do. If I want to make a career out of this, I am going to have to do a lot of research and weigh out the costs. I have to start treating my "job" as a business and keep better track of things.

Cara the Event Planner

I feel like a kid in a candy store today! There are so many things that I am planning for it brings a smile to my face (yeah, I am weird). There is Wyatt's first birthday and our trip to Florida. We leave Monday March 2nd and are coming back Friday March 6th, the next day is Wyatt's party. So....I have to make sure everything is done before we board the plane for Orlando. So far I have made the invitations (thanks to the help of Shayna and Office Depot), bought some decorations, plates and utensils, party bags...oh man I still need so much more! But there is a part of me that loves the idea of planning things.

Every night I stare at the ceiling thinking about taking Wyatt on a plane and going to Disney World, I have never been there, so this is HUGE! I look forward to seeing the look on Grandma Daphine's (Noah's Gram) face when she finally meets Wyatt. Also, Noah and I have never been on a plane together either, so that should be fun. Lets just hope we have kid friendly people sitting around us otherwise this will be the longest 3 hour flight ever. I still have a few weeks to get all this stuff done, but I will never be busy enough to stop thinking about my spur of the moment vacation for Florida

The Day the Music Died

When I got married and had a child, I had to let go of a past I had learned to love. Along with the things I had to give up was music. I love to sing, I think about it constantly and I know God gave me a voice for a reason. I just haven't quite figured that out yet. Singing at church on Sunday mornings is when I can really let loose and pour my heart out in song. I miss it. I miss being in choir and performing on stage (with a group of course we all know I am too chicken to go solo). I miss the voice I had when I trained everyday, now I can barely squeak out a high note with out my voice cracking. I sing to Wyatt all the time, but I want more (Little Mermaid)! I pray that God gives me some insight as to how I can use this spiritual gift soon before my voice withers away.

"F" is for Failure

I never pictured myself being like this, but yes, I feel like I have failed Wyatt as his mother. When I am trying to watch a million kids, including my own, I realize at the end of the day I barely have enough energy to stand. Wyatt is usually the best behaved throughout the day so he is getting the least attention. I really don't like how that works. The whole situation is a catch 22. I have to work, if I didn't we would be living on the street. But on the same note, I feel like I am doing this at the expense of time spent with MY son. Don't get the wrong idea here, I am not neglecting my son, I am just not able to spend as much time with him as I would like to. I am going to try to have a half hour of mommy and me time with Wyatt so I can help him develop in every way possible. Maybe then I will stop feeling so guilty.

How can this be? I'm only 23!

Well there are three less gray hairs on my head today.
I looked in the mirror this morning, just doing the usual morning ponytail, when the light hit a few hairs on my head. I gasped in horror and was almost blinded but the two gray hairs staring at me. They were so noticeable due to the hue of my natural color that I immediately wondered how many people saw them. Needless to say I grabbed my tweezers and pluck those babies faster than they could ever grow in. I know the saying is that when you pluck one, two grow back....well I am all about instant gratification and those hairs could no longer reside with my natural brown locks. I ended up finding one more on the crown of my head. I hope this was a fluke...ok I am in denial. Looks like I need to start stocking up on some hair dye

He's 10 Months Old!

Yes, it is true. My little pride and joy is 10 months old! It feels like yesterday when he was born and now is is crawling and getting into everything. His new idea of fun is pulling the toliet paper off of the roll (note to self: baby proof the bathroom). Here are a few more things that Wyatt is doing:
Our at home measurements Weight: 22lbs Height: 30 1/2 inches
Crawling
Funiture Cruising
Walks, when pushing his toy
Shakes his head "no"
Claps his hand to "YAY"
Wheres size 18month clothing
Eats anything and everything (he will try something at least once)
Says "mama, dada, babba" but doesn't have a clue what they mean
Has 8 teeth, four on top four on bottom and more on the way
Reaches out to the person he wants to go by
Can feed himself finger foods and tries to take the spoon away from me to feed himself
We introduced a sippy cup, but he sips then bites on it lol
We are working on him holding his own bottle

That is all I can think of for now. With every new thing he does it is like the day he was born all over again.