Monday, December 27, 2010

This's different.

I have been struggling this entire pregnancy from the lack of support. Sure it could be my roller coaster of hormones that I experience on a daily basis, but I can't help but to feel "less" support than when I was pregnant with Wyatt. Baby number two is quickly approaching 6 months in the womb and every day I am bursting with excitement. Each kick, or flutter warms my heart just thinking that God has blessed us with another child. A girl no less, my little Scarlett. For me, baby #2 is just as exciting because I have a whole new experience to look forward to. How will Wyatt react to her, what will she look like, will I parent the same as I did with Wyatt??? These questions are just a mere glimpse of thoughts that race through my head. I like to plan ahead, as much as I possibly can. I was thinking about who will stay with us after Scarlett gets here. Usually the grandma (my mom) would be the one helping out. So of course that was an instant reminder how alone I really feel. I just want to be able to call my mom and ask her questions about her pregnancies or if I am doing the right things....but I can't. Noah thinks I am crazy and tells me he is there for me but from the minute I wake up until my head hits the pillow at night, I am constantly thinking about these things and I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little girl. As soon as she gets here I am sure all my worries will be thrown out the window, but until then I will try to manage my emotions.