Sunday, December 28, 2008

Psychology 101

I am going to let you in on a secret of mine. Since I used to be one of these people I can totally speak from experience. Being a pushover, doormat or any other word to describe a person who lets people walk all over them, is one of the many hurdles I had to overcome in my life. In turn when I see others, people I love, who are knowingly being used and abused I have the urge to empower them and teach them what I have learned. Here are a few definitions:
Doormat: a person easily mistreated, imposed on, exploited, etc.
Pushover: a person, group, etc. easily persuaded, defeated, etc.
Sucker: a person easily cheated or taken in; duped
Victim: a person who suffers some loss, esp. by being swindled
Not many people would associate a "victim" with a "pushover" but clearly the proof is in the pudding or definition in this case. There is nothing more irritating in life than seeing a person being mistreated and all you can do is stand back and watch. Sure you tried talking sense into them, and they can change, but in a way they don't want to. This is something we call "learned helplessness" Have you ever met a person who says they are sick and tired of getting abused and yet they return to their abuser? That is what I am talking about, to better help you understand here is the clinical definition. Learned helplessness is a psychological condition in which a human being or an animal has learned to act or behave helpless in a particular situation, even when it has the power to change its unpleasant or even harmful circumstances. As of now I am dealing with a person like this, I want nothing more than to shake her up and want her to change. But change must be wanted and then sought out. Until then, I pray.

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