Have you even gotten a funny feeling about something that you knew wasn't right? I'm trying to figure out if that feeling just a fluke or if I am just scared of making the wrong decision.
Today we scheduled the surgery date for Wyatt to have his 2 webbed toes separated. I already did NOT want Wyatt to have to go through another surgery but I went into this appointment open minded and came prepared with many questions. Every answer the doctor gave me was not the answer I wanted to hear as well as some disturbing risks that I didn't even think about. The doctor proceeded to tell me that with this type of extremity surgery there is a risk that the toes share one blood vessel. If that is the case a toe could not make it. He wont know until he operates and by that time if there was one vessle, it would be too late for the toe to survive. ("Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor!" Is what I was thinking when the Dr. uttered those words.) I musterd up the courage to ask the percentage of that happening and his response was less than 50%. Again, not the answer I wanted to hear. So either I fix my sons toes now and take the risk of him not having a TOE!!! or I do nothing and pray that Wyatt's toes will not get worse as he grows. I have had an uneasiness thinking about the pros and cons of the surgery and I am not at peace with going through it.
Now that I have made this choice, I am praying for peace that I made the right one. The last thing I want 5 years down the road is to regret not doing the surgery and Wyatt's toes have worsened. I am going to give myself 24 hours before I call to cancel. Either way I know God will be here every step of the way, bringing me peace when I feel like it will never come.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Seizure Update
I had my Dr. appointment today with the neurologist. It is state law that I can't drive for 6 months after having a seizure :( The good news is all my tests came back normal which decreases my chances of having another seizure. My Dr. suggested that I stay on medicine for at least 2 years but it is my choice. I am thinking that in order to cover all my bases, I will stay on the meds. After all I am home all day with the kids and I need to know we are all safe! The Dr. is going to put me medicine with less harsh side effects in 6 weeks. I believe my issue was a result of my epidural/blood patch, which the Dr. says is totally possible. Another suggestion was that I could be some one who was already prone to having seizures and being so worn down that day mixed with the blood patch could have done me in. Either way I am blessed to be alive and ready to put all this behind me and start enjoying my life! It stinks not having all the answers, but this is good enough for me! Thanks for all your prayers :)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
In a blink of an Eye...
I know a lot of people are probably wondering what has been going on this past week, so I thought I would write it all down for those interested.
It all started when got an epidural when I was 9 centimeters dilated, they wouldn't let me push and I was in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore. I had a reaction to the test dose which made my blood pressure drop as well as Scarlett's heart rate. With in a few minutes and about 4 pushes she was born. My placenta wasn't releasing so the Dr. had to go in and manually deliver that, it was extremely painful and took about 45 minutes. Because of the epidural reaction I suffered from an horrible headache. There was some relief when laying down, but they released me from the hospital with some meds. After a few days of absolutely no relief from the headache I had my mother-in-law take me to the ER. I was there for 6 hours and was administered a blood patch. Basically they drew blood from my arm and injected it into my back with the idea that it would help replace some blood lost during the epidural. I thought the blood patch worked but I think the morphine I was given at the ER helped my head. So Easter came and went and I was unable to attend. My head was hurting too much. The next day (Monday) was my first day alone with both kids. I was already nervous about that, but I knew my niece was only a phone call away if I needed her.
While changing Scarlett's diaper I noticed my right hand starting to cramp up and twitch. It happened a few more times with in the hour and each episode lasted longer and longer. I called my mother-in-law and asked her if that was normal, she didn't seem to be too concerned. Nor did Noah. We thought it could have been from over exhaustion or lack of sleep. My niece came over and I called to make an appointment with the Dr. I jumped on the shower and my hand continued to cramp up. I got out of the shower and started to open up a band aid. All of the sudden I lost complete control of my right hand and then my arm. I screamed because it felt like some one ripped my arm off but I was still looking at it attached. I screamed again and hit the ground, my eyes went dark and the last thing I remember was trying to call for help. I awoke to see a cop and my niece standing over me in my bedroom. Later I learned that Anna, my niece, heard my screams and came in my room to find me convulsing on the floor for about 5 minutes. She covered me up with a sheet and called 911. When I came to, I was asked a bunch of questions and finally was rushed to the hospital in the ambulance. The Dr's were perplexed about what happened. When they told me I had a seizure, I busted into tears. They sent an order for an MRI and two ladies came in to take me. As they were getting me ready to take me for the MRI, my hand began to cramp up again...I demanded something to make it stop. I refused to move another muscle until I knew I would NOT have another seizure. The meds kicked in and luckily that was the last time my hand had a tremor. That whole day I spent in the hospital was a blur, I couldn't remember who was all there to see me, or what all was done. All I knew was that I wasn't with my family and it was killing me! The next morning I had an EEG, which is test that measures your brain waves. It looks for other seizures or disorders like epilepsy. I have an appointment on Tuesday to go over those results. I am praying that my seizure was a result of my epidural/blood patch and was an isolated event. As of now I have a 6 month driving restriction and have to take an anti seizure pill every 8 hours. I have been an emotional wreck these past couple of days just thinking about all what happened and what if it happens again. The support I have received during this time has been amazing. Family and friends have really stepped up with prayers and favors that words can't even begin to describe my gratefulness. Please continue to pray for me and my health as well as a positive diagnosis on Tuesday. Thanks again to all of you and most of all to my niece Anna, if she wasn't here I don't even know what I would have done. I am slowly getting back to normal and just trying to take one day at a time. I will keep you all updated with any results I get!
It all started when got an epidural when I was 9 centimeters dilated, they wouldn't let me push and I was in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore. I had a reaction to the test dose which made my blood pressure drop as well as Scarlett's heart rate. With in a few minutes and about 4 pushes she was born. My placenta wasn't releasing so the Dr. had to go in and manually deliver that, it was extremely painful and took about 45 minutes. Because of the epidural reaction I suffered from an horrible headache. There was some relief when laying down, but they released me from the hospital with some meds. After a few days of absolutely no relief from the headache I had my mother-in-law take me to the ER. I was there for 6 hours and was administered a blood patch. Basically they drew blood from my arm and injected it into my back with the idea that it would help replace some blood lost during the epidural. I thought the blood patch worked but I think the morphine I was given at the ER helped my head. So Easter came and went and I was unable to attend. My head was hurting too much. The next day (Monday) was my first day alone with both kids. I was already nervous about that, but I knew my niece was only a phone call away if I needed her.
While changing Scarlett's diaper I noticed my right hand starting to cramp up and twitch. It happened a few more times with in the hour and each episode lasted longer and longer. I called my mother-in-law and asked her if that was normal, she didn't seem to be too concerned. Nor did Noah. We thought it could have been from over exhaustion or lack of sleep. My niece came over and I called to make an appointment with the Dr. I jumped on the shower and my hand continued to cramp up. I got out of the shower and started to open up a band aid. All of the sudden I lost complete control of my right hand and then my arm. I screamed because it felt like some one ripped my arm off but I was still looking at it attached. I screamed again and hit the ground, my eyes went dark and the last thing I remember was trying to call for help. I awoke to see a cop and my niece standing over me in my bedroom. Later I learned that Anna, my niece, heard my screams and came in my room to find me convulsing on the floor for about 5 minutes. She covered me up with a sheet and called 911. When I came to, I was asked a bunch of questions and finally was rushed to the hospital in the ambulance. The Dr's were perplexed about what happened. When they told me I had a seizure, I busted into tears. They sent an order for an MRI and two ladies came in to take me. As they were getting me ready to take me for the MRI, my hand began to cramp up again...I demanded something to make it stop. I refused to move another muscle until I knew I would NOT have another seizure. The meds kicked in and luckily that was the last time my hand had a tremor. That whole day I spent in the hospital was a blur, I couldn't remember who was all there to see me, or what all was done. All I knew was that I wasn't with my family and it was killing me! The next morning I had an EEG, which is test that measures your brain waves. It looks for other seizures or disorders like epilepsy. I have an appointment on Tuesday to go over those results. I am praying that my seizure was a result of my epidural/blood patch and was an isolated event. As of now I have a 6 month driving restriction and have to take an anti seizure pill every 8 hours. I have been an emotional wreck these past couple of days just thinking about all what happened and what if it happens again. The support I have received during this time has been amazing. Family and friends have really stepped up with prayers and favors that words can't even begin to describe my gratefulness. Please continue to pray for me and my health as well as a positive diagnosis on Tuesday. Thanks again to all of you and most of all to my niece Anna, if she wasn't here I don't even know what I would have done. I am slowly getting back to normal and just trying to take one day at a time. I will keep you all updated with any results I get!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
My sweet little boy
Most of the time I am complaining about how CRAZY Wyatt is, but there are many times where he melts my heart. Yesterday I called him over to me so we could pray for my Uncle Vern to get better. I started to pray and with in seconds had tears streaming down my face. Wyatt looked at me and said "no crying mama". I wiped my tears, then he wiped my tears and I finished my prayer.
When I was putting him to bed later that night, I asked him if he remembered who we needed to pray for. I said "Uncle...." and he replied "VERN, but don't cry mama!!!"
How cute is he!?! He doesn't like to see me cry. And I don't blame him. I am sure it's a little scary and confusing to see his mom, who is usually the strong one, to be crying. He continued his prayer with "dear Jesus, pray Uncle Vern, Amen".
I love my son and I am so proud that even at 3 years old he loves Jesus and know we can pray to him about EVERYTHING!
When I was putting him to bed later that night, I asked him if he remembered who we needed to pray for. I said "Uncle...." and he replied "VERN, but don't cry mama!!!"
How cute is he!?! He doesn't like to see me cry. And I don't blame him. I am sure it's a little scary and confusing to see his mom, who is usually the strong one, to be crying. He continued his prayer with "dear Jesus, pray Uncle Vern, Amen".
I love my son and I am so proud that even at 3 years old he loves Jesus and know we can pray to him about EVERYTHING!
Monday, April 4, 2011
2 more weeks!!!!!
Being pregnant for 9 months is like waiting for the best Christmas present ever! I know what the present is, but the anticipation is killing me! Dreaming of what her little face will look like, or how labor will go are just a few things keeping me awake at night. 2 weeks may not seem like a lot of time, but time couldn't be going any slower! Noah and Wyatt are just getting over being sick, so for the next few days extensive cleaning and airing out the house will be taking place. I wish I had a maid that could do all these chores for me!
Wyatt has been quite a handful lately, he is being more defiant and independent. We hear "my do it" about 50 times in one day! I am so proud of him though. Whenever he talks about Scarlett it is all good things, about how he will help. When people come over, he wants to show them Scarlett's nursery and explain what each thing is. I think he will be a great big brother. If anything, he will want to help TOO much.
This week we are going to try to squeeze in a date night, as well as catch up with a few friends before Scarlett gets here. Life as we know it will change drastically with 2 kids, so my goal is to try to enjoy this down time while I can. I stopped working last week so I am not sure what to do with all this free time! I am sure I will manage! This means I get to cook a meal every night and do some baking with Wyatt!
Lord help me get through these next 2 weeks, most of all, HELP ME SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!
Wyatt has been quite a handful lately, he is being more defiant and independent. We hear "my do it" about 50 times in one day! I am so proud of him though. Whenever he talks about Scarlett it is all good things, about how he will help. When people come over, he wants to show them Scarlett's nursery and explain what each thing is. I think he will be a great big brother. If anything, he will want to help TOO much.
This week we are going to try to squeeze in a date night, as well as catch up with a few friends before Scarlett gets here. Life as we know it will change drastically with 2 kids, so my goal is to try to enjoy this down time while I can. I stopped working last week so I am not sure what to do with all this free time! I am sure I will manage! This means I get to cook a meal every night and do some baking with Wyatt!
Lord help me get through these next 2 weeks, most of all, HELP ME SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!
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