Friday, October 24, 2008

Finding a Cure

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She would have been turning 48 years old, if I did the math right. October is the Breast Cancer Awareness month and it always struck me as odd that she died of Breast Cancer in the month set out for it. Call it coincidence or just plain old weird, I miss her more now than ever. The fact that my son will never know his grandma Lisa breaks my heart. She will never get to spoil him or break his routine just so she can spend more time with him. A mother is something that is never replaced even though I have tried to fill those shoes by being the best mom I can be. It would be nice to call her about cooking or how to deal with a teething child. I guess it bothers me that she doesn't hear me when I talk to her or when I cry about missing her. With my next child I am hoping for a daughter so that I can experience the ever-so-strong-bond between mother and daughter. There is something very special about it and I can't wait to share that with my children because it was not shared with me.
I love you mommy, I always have and I always will and when I meet you in heaven I wont remember that you were even gone!


sharonie said...

This is a beautiful post. I went and saw her grave site in Aug. Did you know she is just a few feet away from my Nana? I always remember you mom's birthmark on her cheek..the fact it was in shape of a heart amazed me.

Cara said...

Yeah that was weird about her birthmark. I haven't been to her grave in so long. If I went, I think I would want to be alone but I don't want to drive out there alone. Thanks for visiting her Shar while seeing your Nana. I didn't know they were that close, how ironic!

Bethany Patrice said...

Cara, my papa takes care of Auntie Lisa's grave too because it is right by my nana's. He goes there in the winter and shovels the sites. He is so sensititve

I remember sitting on the porch at Grandma Bea's house with your mom, Joey, Joshie, and Sharon, and we were playing "Mother May I" and she was the caller. Some of the adults ignored the kids, but not Auntie Lisa. I remember her always playing with us.

Cara said...

That is a really good memory and when you see you Papa tell him thanks for me. I never knew he did that.