Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She would have been turning 48 years old, if I did the math right. October is the Breast Cancer Awareness month and it always struck me as odd that she died of Breast Cancer in the month set out for it. Call it coincidence or just plain old weird, I miss her more now than ever. The fact that my son will never know his grandma Lisa breaks my heart. She will never get to spoil him or break his routine just so she can spend more time with him. A mother is something that is never replaced even though I have tried to fill those shoes by being the best mom I can be. It would be nice to call her about cooking or how to deal with a teething child. I guess it bothers me that she doesn't hear me when I talk to her or when I cry about missing her. With my next child I am hoping for a daughter so that I can experience the ever-so-strong-bond between mother and daughter. There is something very special about it and I can't wait to share that with my children because it was not shared with me.
I love you mommy, I always have and I always will and when I meet you in heaven I wont remember that you were even gone!