Have you even gotten a funny feeling about something that you knew wasn't right? I'm trying to figure out if that feeling just a fluke or if I am just scared of making the wrong decision.
Today we scheduled the surgery date for Wyatt to have his 2 webbed toes separated. I already did NOT want Wyatt to have to go through another surgery but I went into this appointment open minded and came prepared with many questions. Every answer the doctor gave me was not the answer I wanted to hear as well as some disturbing risks that I didn't even think about. The doctor proceeded to tell me that with this type of extremity surgery there is a risk that the toes share one blood vessel. If that is the case a toe could not make it. He wont know until he operates and by that time if there was one vessle, it would be too late for the toe to survive. ("Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor!" Is what I was thinking when the Dr. uttered those words.) I musterd up the courage to ask the percentage of that happening and his response was less than 50%. Again, not the answer I wanted to hear. So either I fix my sons toes now and take the risk of him not having a TOE!!! or I do nothing and pray that Wyatt's toes will not get worse as he grows. I have had an uneasiness thinking about the pros and cons of the surgery and I am not at peace with going through it.
Now that I have made this choice, I am praying for peace that I made the right one. The last thing I want 5 years down the road is to regret not doing the surgery and Wyatt's toes have worsened. I am going to give myself 24 hours before I call to cancel. Either way I know God will be here every step of the way, bringing me peace when I feel like it will never come.
